Do you find relationships difficult? Maybe you struggle to accept help from others or feel insecure when in a relationship. Perhaps you always feel like the outsider in a group.
Relationships can be the source of great support and security for many. However, the ways we view the world are shaped by family relationships, cultural values and expectations. For example, maybe you were expected to be responsible for others and self-sacrifice might be deeply valued in your family. This pattern can transfer into your adult life often making it difficult to prioritise your own needs without guilt.
We unconsciously absorb messages given by families such as being the ‘difficult child’ or the ‘clever one’. We might have had our needs met by being the funny one or getting angry. All these experiences shape the person we become and future relationships. Our early attachments from our care givers (usually mum and dad) can influence how we form later relationships.
If your caregivers were emotionally absent than you might not have felt safe and heard. This might lead to avoiding relationships, telling ourselves we can’t trust people or finding it difficult to be separated from people. These attachment styles can change, and therapy can help you explore your relationships and become more aware of your own needs to trust and understand yourself and others. In therapy we can explore how you relate to others and how your early attachments affect your present relationships